Women’s progress in Canada is often discussed in general terms, yet one reality still largely absent from national conversations is the gendered cost of disability‑related caregiving.

In a survey of 902 Ontario mothers of autistic children, our research team found that mothers earned only 66 per cent of fathers’ incomes. This disparity does not result from ambition or choice. It reflects a system that relies on mothers’ unpaid labour when formal supports fall short, placing them at heightened risk of burnout and labour‑market withdrawal, either partial or complete. 

Flexible, caregiver-friendly work arrangements and accessible, adequately funded government support services could help close the gap and achieve gender equity.

Personal, economic costs of caregiving responsibilities

Raising an autistic child typically requires parents – most often mothers – to act as advocates, co-ordinators, educators and case managers across school, health and social-service systems. In our study, mothers reported spending an average of 9.4 hours per week managing these responsibilities. More time spent navigating services predicted poorer maternal mental health, even after accounting for income, education and a child’s support needs.

In other words, system design – waitlists, paperwork, inconsistent eligibility and being called upon during the workday to assist with their child – has measurable consequences for women’s well‑being and employment stability.

Open‑ended survey responses revealed the personal and economic costs of these caregiving responsibilities. Many mothers described career sacrifices they felt compelled to make.

One wrote: “I am not able to secure the executive-level job and pay I am qualified for because of the unpredictability of my child’s outbursts and inability of the school to provide [educational assistant] support which he requires…This puts financial pressure on the family and forces us to choose the types and levels of support our child receives.”

Others recounted losing jobs when daytime appointments and care needs collided with inflexible schedules. “I loved my job and losing it was really hard for me,” one participant said. “They were not happy that I often had to leave because of my son’s appointments.”

For many, the daily reality was an unsustainable balancing act. One mother explained that after being denied flexible hours and time for appointments, she ultimately quit. “I couldn’t cope with the stress and pressure of maintaining employment there when my child needed to be cared for,” she said.

Another described working extra hours to pay for therapies, only to see marital stress and burnout rise: “This way of life is unsustainable in the long run. Either I will burn out, or divorce or both.”

Flexible work arrangements

These are not isolated stories but recurring patterns consistent with broader evidence. Primary stressors – direct-care demands – give rise to secondary stressors such as lost income, stalled careers and strained relationships. The cumulative effect is a feedback loop: reduced income limits access to private support; limited support increases time spent navigating systems; more navigation time is linked to poorer mental health, which can further undermine job stability.

Importantly, our findings also point to solutions. Mothers consistently identified flexible work arrangements – remote or hybrid options, adjustable hours and protected time for appointments – as the difference between staying employed and stepping back. When workplaces were accommodating, job satisfaction and retention improved. As one mother shared, “I found the most amazing employer…He allows me to tailor my schedule to fit my son’s school and therapies.”

MORE READING: Stability and good governance needed for national autism strategy

Well-being of children with disabilities calls for rights-based policies

Policies that normalize flexibility and recognize caregiving as part of life – and not a personal failing – benefit both employees and employers.

Service systems matter just as much. Families need timely, stable, adequately funded supports: accessible and affordable child care that accommodates diverse needs; dependable therapy pathways without years‑long waits; schools equipped to support all children without exclusions or shortened days; navigation or case co-ordination to reduce bureaucratic burden; respite to prevent burnout; and transportation when needed so care logistics do not cost a workday.

Disability, labour policy must work together

These are not luxuries – they are the infrastructure that makes equitable participation possible. Yet in Ontario (and throughout much of the country), families face the opposite: high rates of school exclusions, years-long waitlists for therapy and significant delays in respite funding. These inadequate services have profound impacts on caregivers’ financial, emotional and physical well-being.

If Canada is serious about gender equity, disability and labour policy must work together. Employers can lead by adopting flexible, caregiver‑friendly practices. Governments can fund accessible services that do not require a parent to function as a full‑time care co-ordinator. Both can recognize caregiving as essential to our health and education systems.

As one participant remarked, “Society needs to change and be more accepting of mothers and the dual role they often play.” 

Parents deserve structural support so they do not have to choose between caring for their children and safeguarding their own economic security and well‑being. Gender equity is impossible without caregiver equity. Policy should reflect that.